There are a lot of “A to B”s that we overlook. There are many questions that we answer automatically, or problems that we instinctively solve in the same way. I delight in realising those moments and rethinking them.

The morning commute is one. How do you redesign it? My husband, Alex, recently decided that in the morning, he simply needs a way to get from A to B. There are many ways to get there — car, taxi, bike, scooter, walk, bus, carpool, and so on. (If he were really gung ho, maybe he could just stay in the office.) For the most part, he feels that the morning commute is a waste of time. It’s hard to compress or speed up. I’ve seen people use commute as a chance to catch up on a show, email, or twiddle their thumbs with a game. Alex decides to reframe commute as exercise…

He’s considered biking, but that requires a lot of commitment — one has to ride the bike back (at some point), and while the morning is lovely, afternoon is a sauna and the evening is too dark. Alex runs to work. A surprising commute and a good way to start the day. He even calls it an “experiment,” tracking his routes and noting how he feels. We’ll see how it goes!

You have an A to B. What is the real goal, and how else would you like to get there?

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There are books that I read for energy. I’m addicted to the Danielle’s language in The Desire Map because it’s zesty, sexy, and every other kind of energetic.

There are other books I read for clarity. They make me feel focused, knowing, powerful, discerning, eloquent, and in touch with the more complex bits of life. In that moment, I am a genius. I am a modern philosopher with a sense of humour. It’s as if they’ve taken some of the interesting and jumbled thoughts I had a million fold, and turned it into short essence-capturing paragraphs.  How to Think More About Sex (on our underlying beliefs about sex, affairs, porn, and love) and Nudge (on improving decision-making in health, wealth, and happiness through subtle tweaks) are two examples.

I realise my value of synthesis and brevity also draw me in here. Authors that give me a sense of clarity have a way speaking simply about complicated topics. They can be clear and specific at the same time. I leave remembering stories in vivid color accompanied by a quote that brings it all together. Who’s writing makes you nod fervently? What do you find yourself quoting with gusto?

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Writing without an alias scares me. I’m sure it scares many people.

What is that fear? 

It’s the possibility of coming off as unpolished, unfinished. That fear is coupled with the expectation that only beautiful, final things are published. I feel that there is no undo button. Judgement will be passed immediately, and there’s no chance of forgiveness. I’m afraid of owning up to what I write. I’m afraid of implying that it is my best.

It’s a chronic lack of readiness. It’s “right now, I am not confident enough in representing myself.” It’s “I don’t think I’ve said things the way I want to say things. I don’t think these words do my ideas justice.” It’s something to put off so I can comfort myself with the fact that it’s on my to-do list.

But, “I’m not ready” has a few layers. It’s uncertainty… glossed over a deep, quiet knowing that “I can be amazing.” There’s a bit of ego, a bit of self-love. There’s a faint whisper of having an key message or resonating story. “My idea is worthy (of a perfect post). It’s powerful. Or hilarious. Or elegantly simple.” The fear shows me how important something is to me.

So here I am! A space to reflect, and more importantly, practice. A space I give myself permission not to be final. A space to own up to what I believe.

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