A great coaching client is one who you love to work with because they are working for themselves. They are willing to try things, take action, reflect, and dream. They see their personal power — whether its just a glimmer right now or quite a bit — and they aim to do something with it. They’re not waiting to get “lucky;” they are making their own luck with their action.
They…
Desire
They desire. They are trying to go somewhere, be something, accomplish something — that may change, shift, or be completely overthrown, but the forward energy is important to them. They have dreams, ones that they are even afraid to admit because declaring it is overwhelmingly scary. But they know it’s there, and they know it’s powerful. They are willing to want what they want, and acknowledge those desires. They’re here to get more clarity and channel their energy to achieve their desires.
Sit with the question
Ok, so coaches ask strange questions sometimes. Usually short and to-the-point, but not ones that you may have ever heard a friend say. “What does _____ mean?” “Where does ‘can’t’ come from?” “How is that serving you?” “Describe where you feel it.” Sometimes the questions are not so much strange but rather scary. It’s completely different from the ones you’d ask yourself. It’s one you don’t have an answer to right away, but as you think about it, and sit with it, interesting thoughts, words, sounds, colors, and feelings arise. And then you…
Think aloud
As a client, you think aloud. You just say what’s there and consider what that could mean after words. You trust your gut and your head that what floats up is useful and relevant. The coach has created a safe space together with the client, and as the client, you don’t feel the need to self-censor. You’re able to dig deep and just see what comes. You verbalise as best as you can and offer disclaimers when it’s difficult. But you think aloud anyway.
Notice what is happening
A client that goes beyond lucky notices what’s happening. There are many levels to a coaching session and what is said it just one of them. When you, as the client, notices your own excitement, hesitation, confusion, offendedness, you treat it with curiosity and bring it up. Your wonderful coach gives you space and questions to explore it further.
Bottom-line
“Why do I want to say what I’m saying?” Whether 15 minutes or 2 hours or a whole day, coaching is a space where time is valuable — just like any other activity. To go deeper faster, you bottom-line. What is the significance of what is being said, or how I’m reacting? These clients check themselves when they notice they’re repeating, because it may not be useful to tell the same story they told a friend in the exact same words to their coach. They challenge themselves to find why that story is important, because they value how deep and effective the session can be.
Design the relationship and give feedback
You are not the receiver of a relationship, but one half of a whole. The coach and client together design a space that helps them move from good to great, to reflect on the bad, to be challenged, to act, to hear thoughts bluntly and straight-forwardly. When as a client you give feedback on when the session works well, or when you’ve taken offense or gotten confused, you allow your coach to grow, and you relationship to be a even more tailored fit.
Respect their own time and the coach’s time
A client that goes beyond lucky is constantly aware of potential topics to bring to the session. Because they value themselves and their time, they view the world in terms of things they’d like to see more of, or understand more about. These topics will shift, come, and go, but the desire to be open to them is always present. Both client and coach are on time, ready to be present, focused, and flexible in that moment. The sessions are valuable, and not services to be brushed off and rescheduled. There is respect for you and I, for your time and mine.